axxon N.
Here Is Not Better
Tracklist
Written, performed, produced, and recorded by: Andrew Abraido & Daniel Taveras
Lyrics for 1, 2, 4, 5, 10, 11 written by:
Andrew Abraido
Lyrics for 6 written by:
Daniel Taveras
Lyrics for 7, 9, 13 written by:
Andrew Abraido & Daniel Taveras
Written and recorded March - May 2007
axxon N.'s premiere effort, Here Is Not Better, is the first attempt Andrew or Daniel ever made at writing (serious) song lyrics. Some of the lyrics are brilliant, others are...perplexing, to say the least.
Although Here Is Not Better is not considered a concept album or an aural film, all of the songs are essentially about particular, real-life individuals known to both Andrew and Daniel (with emphasis to one specific individual on several songs).
It is worth noting that this album contains the only lyrics that were ever written by a combination of the auteurs ("Jitterslug", "Asymmetrical", "Love Letters (from a gun)", and "The Telling of Time").
Origin of Elusion
I. Prelude to a Fall
There are no words.
II. The Vanished
Night
It fills me with
The scent of flesh
The knot of bone screaming I'm not
Alone in
This body now
Myself I've found
Is lying down and looking up at
Sky on fire
Creeping closer
To my blackened core I can't take this any...
I'll be waiting
At the bottom
For you to come
Crashing down again
Oh, I wish that you could hear this
Now I'm ready
I can face this
I will wave and fade with smoke and mirrors
So watch closely
Or you'll miss me
Disappear without a trail of reason
Please, don't move your eyes now
Please, don't move your eyes now
Please, dont move your eyes now
Please, don't move your eyes or you'll never see
Right where to find me
See, right where to find me
You, will never find me
You, will never find me outside of your....
cynical.
Gotta get away from this place
Smash all the clocks so there's time left to waste
And I'll build you a noose out of clay
Wear it with pride and watch the world fade away
Disagree
Nevermind
Ready for anything
And my mouth
Full of lies
Karma's coming back again
There's no hope
In your eyes
And all that I once couldn't see
Is now here
As I die
Erasing all I used to be
Need a pen
Won't take long
To stain the page for all to see
I will write
All your wrongs
And all that you meant to me
Gotta find a way to be missed
Forge me a lock for my hands and my fists
And then worship me now as I plea
For the return of my long lost sanity
Never free
It's a lie
Believe in anything
There's the truth
Nevermind
Karma ran down again
There's no hope
In your eyes
And all that I once couldn't see
Is now here
As I die
Erasing all I used to be
Need a pen
Won't take long
To stain the page for all to see
I will write
All your wrongs
And all that you meant to me
There's no hope
In your eyes
And all that I once couldn't see
Is now here
As I die
Erasing all I used to be
Need a pen
Won't take long
To stain the page for all to see
I will write
All your wrongs
And all that you meant to me
As you look
In my eyes
And see all you once couldn't see
Feel my pulse
I'm alive
Becoming all I want to be
As this dark
Turns to dawn
I hope you find all that you need
I will right
All your wrongs
And all that you meant to me.
Roque
There are no words.
The Phantom
What you doin' down here
I said I'm gonna lie
Why you so deceptive
I said I've gone awry
What you doin' with that blood
I said I'm gonna die
I've been scanning clearly
All these ghosts that now surround me
Greet the one with every reason
Transparent through every season
You said you hate tomorrow
I said why don't you cry
You asked for pro-creation
I said I can't deny
Then you said you want a lover
I said you're outta time
I've been scanning clearly
All these ghosts that now surround me
Greet the one with every reason
Transparent through every season
There's no time for going back.
bD
(for J.R.)
Been tryin' to tell you something
But then my lungs ran out of air
So I tried to whisper with my eyes
Just how much I really care
I know you fucking hear me
Listening is just a chore
Now I've gotta scream it out
Before my body hits the floor
When life's got you down
Twisted all around
And then the bottom falls out
And oh no, you're falling faster
Bury your fears
Make them disappear
Cuz I'll be thinking of you
My beautiful disaster
When time winds down
And you're overwhelmed
You feel the bottom fall out
And oh no, you're falling faster
Swallow your tears
Make them disappear
Cuz I'll be thinking of you
My beautiful disaster
You lit me up in darkness
Showed me there's another way
And I gotta tell you something
Without having a clue what to say
You're better than you ever dreamed
Their eyes are glued below the brow
You forget I see everything
When my feet are off the ground
When life's got you down
Twisted all around
And then the bottom falls out
And oh no, you're falling faster
Bury your fears
Make them disappear
Cuz I'll be thinking of you
My beautiful disaster
When time winds down
And you're overwhelmed
You feel the bottom fall out
And oh no, you're falling faster
Swallow your tears
Make them disappear
Cuz I'll be thinking of you
My beautiful disaster
Loss of breath I've come to find
Gentle touch of autumn wind
Help me remember all that was
Instead of all that could have been
And listen to no voice but yours
Dancing deep inside your mind
Just please know I always cared
Even as I say...
Good-bye.
For Saken
Hear the buzz growing
Darker and louder
Passing in and passing out
The voices now distorting
My make-up cannot handle your
Matter of fact musings
This ground we walk on should give way
And leave me standing safely
I'm strained
Warped out of form
Handled every complex pressure and dodged the storm
My mind
Taken its toll
Buried every mournful moment and filled the hole
Feel the breeze subsiding
My vision has since blurred
Tuning in and tuning out
My eyes reflect the light
Whatever was once wonderful
Now vacant, stained, and sullied
I'm better now I know for sure
Your future is still pending
I'm strained
Warped out of form
Handled every complex pressure and dodged the storm
My mind
Taken its toll
Buried every mournful moment and filled the hole
Touch of lips arousing
The seed is rooting deeper
Spiral in and spiral out
Your hourglass is empty.
Jitterslug
You're
Not
Better
You're
Still
Damaged
Settle down
Nice and slow
Now hear the sound
And watch it go
To end the strife
Go back to bed
An inch of your life
Over your head
I'm
Not
Going
I'm
Still
Asleep
Settle down
Nice and slow
Now hear the sound
And watch it go
To end the strife
Go back to bed
An inch of your life
Over your head.
Comorbid
There are no words.
Asymmetrical
Gaze upon it with a broken shadow
Blazing down into the barren gallows
Saving this life that's led with twisted arrows
Raging into this state of mind that finds
Shade
Fade away
Into black
Now opaque
And all that's ever been
And all that's just come crashing down
There's no symmetry here in this place
The walls once built now down around
And now that time is drawing near
Dust will feel the air decay
There's no chance to leave this place
There is nothing left to say
Stray
Then betray
Hollow skies
No mistakes
Raid
Steal the grey
Blur the line
Go or stay
Cynical and crumbled fear marks surrender
Skull and crossbones spells return to sender
Null and void treasures once pleasant, tender
Dull without a way to sharpen this
Shade
Fade away
Into black
Now opaque
And in the barrack worn and thin
And in the would that bleeds awake
Still no symmetry in this place
Where no amends are left to make
Contusion finds a host for now
Gently swallows up the fear
There are two things left to find
One thing left to hear.
VIRIAL
Act One - Cognition
It's getting harder to prove you're alive
When all you whisper now are good-byes
You think you're six feet under the bridge
Without anything to hold you down
You say that this life
This life comes down to a sound
Act Two - Verity
It's getting darker now all the time
Still hear you whisper to me under the light
You think it still burns to spit out a flame
On the same tired ears that heard you say
Here is not better
Not better than my new life
Act Three - Dreams
Hands moving faster to close my mind
Shut all the doors and lock them behind
And when I finally learn to speak
The first words that leave my lips will be
"I'm not afraid
I'm not afraid of you anymore".
Love Letters (from a gun)
I've been digging out a little hole
Under my skin that's got a lot of
Space for you to hide and
Plenty of shit for you to find
Like the mirror that I made out of your eyes
To show you that you're fucking crawling now
And how I got you swallowing these
Love letters
From a gun shroud my
Intentions and now
Can't complain about
Dirty life that I
Cannot sacrifice
Fate will not allow
So pull the trigger now
Again
I find
You lying down
Down and out again
Again
I find
You lying down
Down and out again
I've been tilling out a little hole
In life that's got me running circles
Searching for a place to hide
This shit for you to find
Like the mirror that I made out of your eyes
To show you that you're fucking crawling now
And how I got you swallowing these
Love letters
From a gun shroud my
Intentions and now
Can't complain about
Dirty life that I
Cannot sacrifice
Fate will not allow
So pull the trigger now
I've been digging out a little hole
Under my skin that's got a lot of
Space for you to hide and
Plenty of shit for you to find
Like the mirror that I made out of your eyes
To show you that you're fucking crawling now
And how I got you swallowing these
Love letters
From a gun shroud my
Intentions and now
Can't complain about
Dirty life that I
Cannot sacrifice
Fate will not allow
So pull the trigger now
Love letters
From a gun shroud my
Intentions and now
Can't complain about
Dirty life that I
Cannot sacrifice
Fate will not allow
So pull the trigger now
Again
I find
You lying down
Down and out again
I've been tilling out a little hole
In life that's got me running circles
Searching for a place to hide
This shit for you to find
Like the mirror that I made out of your eyes
To show you that you're fucking crawling now
And how I got you swallowing these
Love letters
From a gun shroud my
Intentions and now
Can't complain about
Dirty life that I
Cannot sacrifice
Fate will not allow
So pull the trigger now.
Red Lampshade
There are no words.
The Telling of Time
In this dream
I'm
Waiting for
An end
Of days
To come
As I walk
To the back
Of the line
And I sit
And I stare
At the time
From afar
Can't move on
Keep your stars
In the sky
Watch 'em fade
As you sit
And you stare
Past their eyes
As they fall
Down on you
And you wish you could change
I can tell
That I'm benign
I can tell
The telling of time
It's been years
Since
I
Looked
At the clock
On your wall
When I tripped
And I fell
And I saw
All the walls
In the room
Fade to white
And the light
Hint of red
When you said
"Here
Right here
Is where you'll rest
Without peace
If you stay
On the floor
Out of sight
Out of time
And you'll never change"
I can tell
That I'm benign
I can tell
The telling of time
Now I'm god
Watch me now
As I stand
Clench my fists
For the fight
To the front
Of the line
And I swear
That I'll change
All the ways
Clear the haze
From these eyes
Spilling lies
Shed the guise
Then I'll rise
You'll see I'll change
I awake
From
This
Night
Tucked in bed
Without a light
I see the beast
Shining bright
A tint of grey
Upon the shelf
I see myself
Lying asleep
Cannot shut
Door is closed
Wish I could
Could care
But I can't
So I write
There's no hope
There's no tell
There's no time
And I'll never change.
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